I wish my title was, “How I Turned it all Around & Am Getting So Much Done”.
If you read my last blog, Chevrons of Doom, you know I’ve been struggling to get things done or see results from all the work I feel like I’m putting in. Each day as I continue to > (migrate/ignore) instead of X (complete) more and more things, my confidence I can get things done is decreasing.
I was lamenting (okay, complaining) about this today. How can I be working so hard and doing all of the right things and not seeing the positive outcome I expect? If I was going to work this hard to stay in the same spot, why wouldn’t I just slack off? Why would I keep working a “normal” workday and even keep trying to “catch up” on weekends.
As I told my tales of woe, recounting all of the things I was doing and yet not seeing results. She asked me one question, “What do you need right now?” Just one, simple question. What one thing would help me feel better and set me on the course I want to be.
I couldn’t answer it. Don’t you think if I knew, I wouldn’t be here complaining, I’d actually be getting things done?
“I don’t know. I just need things to work out, for a change.” (Yes, I was in full oh-wo-is-me mode.)
“What do you need right now?”
“I don’t know, I just don’t think anything will help.” (It wasn’t like I wasn’t trying new things, it’s just that nothing seemed to be producing a result.)
“What do you need right now?”
Okay, now it’s just getting annoying. (I did not say that out loud but was happy to change the subject.)
But, hours later, my brain starts to work on answers to the question. That seems to be how things go for me. The things that seem to most irritate me in the moment are the things I need to be doing or thinking about and this person has the ability to zone right in on it and make sure it’s stuck in my mind. (Wish she was as good at giving me the answers to the questions, but then again, I’d probably fight that too.)
I’m not quite sure where she learned the voodoo mind trick but I always seem to leave a conversation with one thing sitting in my brain. It’s uncomfortable and I try to ignore it but within a couple of days I begin to see what she was seeing and start to act on it.
That’s what has happened again. What I really need right now is to keep my promises to myself. I need to remember that I am fully capable of turning things around.
I realize that it doesn’t sound like much but making lists, knowing I won’t do and then beating myself up for not getting them done is not working. If I continue on this path, I’m just going to get increasingly frustrated and so, even if it sounds like letting myself off the hook (which is a hard thought for me to shake), I need to take steps to commit to and keep promises to myself.
Here’s what I’ve come up with:
- I need to build my list of tasks with tasks I need to or am interested in doing for the next few days. (I still have the flexibility to do this and I need to build my “accomplishing things” muscle.)
- I need to limit the number of tasks on the list. (I know what else I can do if I have time, it’s all on the weekly or monthly lists, I don’t need to keep jamming them on every daily list.)
- I need to regroup a bit and build out a list of what actually has to happen (there is a specific deadline that has to be met) verses what I need to have happen (the things that if they get done today, set up my future security) verses what I want to have happen (the things I want to do or have done).
- I need to be more realistic on how long things will take. (One of the challenges with ADHD is time blindness and it can work in a number of ways. I can either assume that I’ll always be in hyper focus and therefore underestimate the time and energy something will take or I assume everything is behind the wall of awful and it will take more time and energy to complete than it really will. Both set me up for failure because I either don’t get done as much as I think I should have or I don’t get started on something because it seems to large and unfriendly.)
That’s it for now. Let’s see how it goes.
I leave YOU with the question, what do you need right now?
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