A Round of Love

“Nice start. You faded that one perfectly.” I say to Red as Rose and Tiffany leave the tee box.

It’s March and the first game of the season for our eclectic foursome. Randomly joined together years ago, we instantly bonded over the fact that none of us had any golf friends.

Now we have a standing monthly tee time. Nine holes each month for nine months. If only all relationships had clear boundaries like this one.

“Who was the guy at the range?” Red’s looking to start the season off with some gossip.

“A new member, Marcus.”

“Cassie and Marcus, it has a ring to it…”

I just shake my head and start walking to my ball. Red doesn’t know that I closed my heart off years ago.

“The course looks great.” I say to Rose as we head to the second hole. “It’s gone from March’s faded brown to vibrant green in April.”

“It’s not the only thing that’s brightened up,” she says with a wink, “you’re positively glowing. Who’s responsible for that smile on your face.”

Rose is a romantic but I’m not yet ready to spill the tea on my new relationship. It’s been so long, I wouldn’t even know what to call it, I just know that I’m enjoying spending time with Marcus.

“It’s just the sun, it brightens up everything.”

“Not again.” Tiffany sulks back to her bag. It’s the third hole and she’s yet to find her swing. “At least it was an old, faded ball.”

“I’ll help you find it.” I’m practically skipping off toward her ball. It’s May and things with Marcus are heating up, just like the weather.

“What’s got you in such a good mood today?”

“Golfing just makes me happy.” I still haven’t told the girls about Marcus although based on the number of hints they’ve dropped so far, it’s obvious they know something is going on. There are no secrets on the golf course.

I’m just worried that saying something out loud will wake me from this dream because I still can’t believe it’s really happening.

“So this is who you’ve been cheating on us with.” Rose is standing on the fourth tee box, waving around the scorecard that fell out of my bag.

“Mar-cus.” Rose draws out each syllable.

I grab the card, noticing how faded his number is, it’s from our first round together.

“Just hit the ball, will you?” I try to sound irritated but the truth is, I do want to talk to them about Marcus. I just don’t know how.

It’s June and while I’m no longer worried this is just a fling, I’m more insecure that it isn’t. I’ve spent so much time alone, I’m not sure I can let someone in and I’m not sure how much longer Marcus will wait.

“Did you spend Canada Day with Marcus?” This is the third time Red has asked about Marcus and it’s only the fifth hole. We don’t see each other between rounds so Red is always eager to catch up on the gossip.

“Quiet weekend, just the two of us.” I have to give her something or she won’t stop.

She doesn’t notice that I’m staring at the small heart that encompasses C+M on the bench. It was something Marcus did months ago and the sight of it still fills my stomach with butterflies.

If you didn’t know to look for it, you wouldn’t see it. The summer sun has faded the heart and my defenses. I’ve finally let Marcus in and I’ve never been happier.

“Nice birdie.” Rose says as she replaces the flag.

It’s the sixth hole and the August sun is beating down on us. I’ve been waiting since the first hole share my news with Rose and finally have her to myself.

“I’m in love. My defenses have faded away. I didn’t think I could ever be this comfortable with another person.”

I’m not sure Rose heard anything past the l-word but the smile on her face was exactly the response I was looking for.

“September makes me sad.” Tiffany says, staring at the faded flowers on the seventh tee box. In the height of the season, the flowers are stunning but everything starts dieing with the cool September weather.

“I know how you feel.” I normally try to cheer Tiffany up but the weather isn’t the only thing that’s bringing me down. I can’t help but think Marcus and I have been cooling off too.

Am I overreacting? Maybe it’s normal.

“Cassie!” Tiffany’s shouting wakes me from my daydream and I jog to catch up.

“I hate the cold.” I am losing patience with Red’s complaining. It’s always cold in October, she knows that and should dress for the weather.

Red’s been distant since we teed off. We’re now on the eighth hole and she hasn’t asked about Marcus once.

“Marcus has been acting strange. Our schedules never connect and he’s not responding to my messages.”

Red doesn’t look surprised. If anything, she seems a bit relieved that I brought it up.

“Oh, Honey, you’ve been faded! It’s like being ghosted, just more subtle and drawn out. I heard rumours but I hoped it wasn’t true.”

I look over to Tiffany as we walk to the ninth green. The last hole in November is always bitter sweet. It will be the last time I see the girls until next spring.

“Everything has faded, you can tell the season is over.”

“It’s not the only thing that’s over. I’m sorry to hear about you and Marcus.”

“Thanks, I guess it was just a golf season fling.”

“Have anyone picked out for next season?” Tiffany asks, attempting to lighten the mood.

“Do I have to wait that long?” I laugh but there’s truth behind my words. For the first time, I feel like there’s an empty space in my life and I’m ready to let someone else in.

“Not if we get all of the details next year.”